We will now move on to describe some principles that we have found helpful in responding to those who exhibit SBCMB. At this point, we want to reiterate that the purpose of this paper is not to “cancel” or “expose” individuals. As we have noted, this is seldom possible anyway, because those who exhibit SBCMB are very good at turning any criticism into an opportunity to portray themselves as victims. The purpose of this paper is thus simply to help you personally respond to people who you think may be exhibiting SBCMB, by describing responses that have helped us personally. If it turns out that the person you are responding to is not actually exhibiting SBCMB, then these responses are good things to do anyway. Furthermore, we believe that if more people understand the possible issues associated with SBCMB and act in the ways we describe, real change can come about.
Here is a summary of key principles we identify:
- Be careful of your own wellbeing
- Allow the Bible to define love, not the person exhibiting SBCMB
- Realise that normal social rules may not apply
- Be very clear on your personal boundaries
- Be very clear on the truth—don’t let them define reality
- Recognise illegitimate guilt—don’t let them define morality
- Don’t be afraid of disengaging
- If you believe there is actually abuse, take further action
Read the next section: Pray
Copyright © 2021 Lionel and Bronwyn Windsor
Note well: Because of time and energy constraints, we’re not personally able to respond to any queries or comments about this paper. So please realise in advance that if you send us a message about this paper, you are unlikely to receive any response from us.
To read the whole paper: Slow-burn crazy-making behaviours
|Online: a roadmap for the entire paper||Download the entire PDF|
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